A Dance in the Flames
I have always been haunted and overwhelmed by diversity, and its grasp on us all. Why is it that in our minds we must find a way to be apart from one another? Why do we seek to differ from one another in terms of class, tastes, likings, and opinions? One would argue that that is the purpose of the individual person now; to separate oneself from another proves one another’s worth in their own particular way, to show that each and every one of us is unique in his or her own special way. Some would even claim that this is the logical and evolutionary stage for humans that allow us to be greater than the common animal, as we are granted with the gift of thought and independent mentality that helps us think, feel, and perceive in our ways, the gift of “freedom” of will or “choice” as they say. Such are the praises and woes of arrogant men and women or were never worthy enough of being part of the Great Machine. I ask of you to look back at history and tell me that “freedom” has amounted to anything else but chaos and discord. Since the dawn of time, we’ve crawled out of the primordial slime that is Creation; we started as nothing more than mere violent animals, guided by basic instincts and primal emotions, just like any other animal. But then something changed, whether by the touch of the Lord or the awakening of one capable primate who looked up into the sky and decided that reason and logic was the key to saving us from the cruel, harsh, bitter winds of Mother Nature. And as people, we evolved to become something greater and create things that are truly beautiful and wondrous within our union. But somewhere we lost the way, and by separating ourselves from one another, we became less understanding. By attempting to comingle things that are different or people we don’t understand, it has resulted into an endless reign of wars that have taken too many precious lives. It is too risky, it is too dangerous. By having all these people with different mindsets and languages, the countdown to our extinction only increases by every separation we take. Freedom and ambition only leads to disappointment. Choice is an illusion, in the end we are all waiting for death to take us. My family is a sure example of this fact. Everyday has been the same chaotic existence, filled with such meaningless conflicts. It felt like strife followed us everywhere we went no matter what it was. No matter where we went, a debate would strike, and it would go on for what seemed like forever, and by the end there was no victor, no loser, merely bitterness in us all. The subjects; unimportant, meaningless, empty, hollow, and in vain were the shouts and jolts that came of exasperated voices of my family. Every attempt made even useless with every hit we took. Pills seeping down our throats, opiates pulping through our lungs, chemicals coursing through our veins; nothing more than futile attempts to escape the carcass of our consciousness that now remained, leaving behind what was left of life, and trying to fly so high towards Nirvana, never making it there. I do, at that moment, what I’ve always been doing now, sitting on the coach in front of the fireplace, wallowing in the mud of my gloom, once again reminded in my deep withdrawals that all of our hopes and dreams had flowed down the river, I now wonder where they all went in the first place. I looked at the fireplace, for the first time to me, it looked so beautiful. It was chaotic but in a different way. All of it flowed perfectly like the ripples of water, or the perfect union of high octane dance, or the nice flowing body of the dancers in the sin houses. I am dazed by its virtue, as it flows endlessly, the fire continues to rise then die, upsurge and recede over and over again. It then occurred to me that perhaps in this state, the unpredictable horror and chaos could have only been wielded by an even greater order. The colors wades so mesmerizing, like the wings of an angel diving at the sunsets of autumn. I could have even swore I saw the beautiful Lady of the Flames, dance around my fireplace, I thought it was just a hopeful trick of the eye at first, but I would soon find it to be something different. “So beautiful, so fluid and perfect, humanity can sadly never be like this,” I thought. “It’s too petty of its own brethren.” “Then why don’t you make them like this?” I heard a voice, feminine as a seductress. I turned my head towards the fireplace and once again I saw her. The beautiful Lady of Flames. Her alluring form constantly shifted, but never moving from her place. Even when she stood still, her hair and skins popped and flickered, as if she could still dance while staying completely still. Her body pulsated with an erotic tone and gesture as she spoke and moved, I felt both in fear yet comforted by her warm fiery presence. She was the most attractive of beings I’d ever seen, so divine, so pure, yet so dangerous, I wanted to touch but I was too afraid to. She swayed towards me in ever confident manner, her body swung back and forth and a smile that only increased the magnetism of her being. Like a light she was luring me. She told me that she had come to free me from the tyranny of assortment, and she claimed she could help free us all, as long as I allowed it to be. I asked her, “Why have you chosen me to do this task, Goddess? I am not a strong man, nor a worthy man.” But then she said the most incredible thing to me, “My child, if you understand what needs to be done, then why can't anyone else?” I now finally knew what I had to do… And I did it. I saw my lover be taken by fire, I watched her change and ignite herself into a Goddess, and she never looked so alive. Before she changed, she questioned why this was. I told her it was to free her, oh and she did not understand, but all it took was a little taint and a flick and then she started dancing, I saw her ascend into divinity as her skin began to boil and her screams went out like the blissful call of a seamstress. My children cry out in question why this was, they need know why, and just that I did what was best for them, so that we could all be together at last. We dance together now, with the harlots, with the Lady of Fire; altogether, we are all dancing together in a perfect union, all suffering from the eternal and undying flames of hell, all feeling the blazing and zealous heat at once, we are together at last. No petty arguments, no differences, no disobedience, we all dance together with the flames forever until we are brought down by death in peace. We now feel the same, we now say the same, we move the same, and we now are all the same. Together we were one, we all felt pain, and we all knew pain. We feel the phoenix looming its eternal grace beneath us. The warmth that my Goddess provided me was intoxicating. I kept wailing and dancing around like mad, as I could see the Gypsies dancing around me, and the flames flickering as far as I could see. Fire was everywhere I could lay my eyes on, and it only continued to expand as the waltz of my burning family continued in a mystic glee of ecstatic twirl. We waved around endlessly, running around singing to ourselves in loud melodies that can be heard from across endless hills. We spread the flames from one stilted object to another, transforming it into another beautiful aspect of the Goddess. For the first time ever, I felt truly alive, which was ironic because I was basically flirting with death itself. The fear that I saw in the eyes of the others both thrilled me and disgusted me, if only they knew the glory we all felt together as a mass. My mind trailed off into fantasy and anticipation again as I could not wait to present them with this phenomenon that I am feeling as this very moment. Now I am dancing, we are all dancing, in the flames. My lover, my children, and the Lady of Flames, we all dance together now, I am happy. We all feel the fire, and we sing together in a chorus of agony, we are all together now. We feel the flames melting and our skin away from flesh and bone like our sorrows, all crying and begging for mercy, we scorch all that remains around us. We now emit radiant light that glows brighter than the gleaming moon in the black sky. We are now the torches of the night that you can see and hear, and we screech like banshees together in a once docile night. We wail and jump around like inmates, we yell to the top of our throats, and we spread our mire from one to another, we spread the flames. For the first time in years, I felt like we were doing something together as a family. But, it’s still not over yet, boys and girls. For the flames have given me a higher task to be her prophet. I now see the path to our glorious return to unity. For you see, my Goddess wants us to dance together in the flames, and I want nothing more than to have that too. Imagine for a second, a world where all of us are no longer separated by petty differences, but an understanding. For one day, you too will all dance with us in the flames, you will share our rhapsody, reveal in the sensation, you will all feel the burning and scream to your heart's delight, together, one day the entire world come together and dance in the flames. Category:Mental Illness Category:Reality